When considering a situation where deferential vulnerability might be a factor, it is important to remember that each individual is different. What might trigger one person may not affect another person at all. It is also important to keep in mind that just because someone has deferential vulnerability does not mean they are weak or cannot care for themselves. Each situation must be assessed on a case-by-case basis to determine the best way to handle it. With that being said, here are some examples of situations where deferential vulnerability might play a role.
These can be the situation where deferential vulnerability might be a factor.
- When a child is asking for help to do something, and the parent doesn’t want them to feel bad
- When someone has just been fired from their job, and they’re trying to find another one
- When someone is apologizing for coming late or forgetting an appointment
- When a student is asking for help with their homework assignment, but they don’t want it to seem like they can’t do it on their own
- A boss who needs feedback about how she’s doing her job but wants it delivered gently so as not to make her feel worse than she already does
- A friend who wants advice about what to wear tonight but doesn’t want you telling them that what they picked out looks terrible
- Asking your partner if they would like anything else after dinner without wanting them to think you’re nosy or demanding
- Telling your boss that you need time off because of illness without sounding too needy or whiny

When it comes to submissive vulnerability, many people might be unsure of it. This can be especially true if you have never been in a situation where this type of vulnerability was necessary. Deferential exposure occurs when individuals put their interests aside and make decisions based on what they believe is best for their group or organization.
They hope to maintain harmony within the group and avoid any conflicts that could potentially arise. While this type of behavior is often seen as admirable, it can also have negative consequences. In some cases, deferential vulnerability can lead to frustration and anger among group members who feel like their voices are not being heard.
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